Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Dear Friends, Quit Having Babies...

Dearest Friends,

Your babies are so adorable. I love the smell of new person. I love getting to take pictures of your sweet babies.

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But, it's starting to make me stupid. Please stop procreating before I go and decide to have another baby.


Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Lying In Repose...This Is Morbid...

Funerals or memorials can be very difficult. For me though, the visitation is more difficult than the funeral service. I'm not sure about what other areas typically do, but in the South most people have the body lying in repose at the visitation. I don't particularly care to see the deceased lying in a coffin. I prefer to think of them the way they looked alive.

Earlier this week I stopped by the funeral home for a visitation. I didn't know the woman who passed; I never met her one single time. I do know her daughter quite well though. We have gone to church together for years and years, so I wanted to stop and offer my condolences.

It felt odd to me that I was looking at a woman in a coffin that I had never met. She had been in assisted living (in another town) for as long as I can remember. This was the first time I ever laid eyes on Rena*.  As I stood in line looking at her, I made some mental notes. 1. Whoever did her makeup did a lovely job. 2. Her hair was more poofy than I thought it would be. 3. She really didn't look anything like I had always pictured her looking. 4. the casket the family chose looks to be a nice one. 5. Did I seriously just critique the makeup job of a dead woman? 6. Clearly, I spent too much time with Jay's uncle touring his mortuary.

I don't want to be on display when I die. I've told Jay on numerous occasions that I would much rather be cremated. It's faster and cheaper. I (personally) don't want him spending a lot of money on a funeral. (holy cow, I'm even trying to save money on my own funeral) I don't really care what he does with my ashes. I'll be dead, so it shouldn't really matter. He can dump me down the drain for all I care. I don't even really want him to spend time on a service. I'd much rather he and the kids have a party at the house instead. Since I'll be dead, I guess my children and husband will get to do whatever they want!

Jay's family is real big on the viewing and burial tradition. I told him that if someone in his family should happen to get to him convince him to put me in the ground that I want my epitaph to be as follows:

At Least She Tried

I think he thought I was kidding the first time I mentioned it. He has come to realize that I mean it. I may not be successful at anything, but I have always tried really, really hard. Shouldn't an epitaph embody the deceased? Lots of people use....Beautiful Wife...Loving Mother...Dedicated Christian. I don't think any of those phrases actually describe me as a whole though. Whether it was being a wife, mother, volunteer, accountant, Christian, neighbor, or friend, I have always tried hard. That is the common denominator in everything I have ever done. I tried.

What about you guys? Do any of you have thoughts regarding your funeral?

*I changed her name because I don't know if her family would appreciate me bringing up their 76 year old mother's funeral.

Monday, June 28, 2010

The Tip Meter Is Running...

There is a restaurant off the interstate in Tennessee that we have stopped to eat at several times over the years. It's not the classiest of places, but in a pinch it will do. Notice the sign...

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The food keeps getting worse and the prices keep getting higher. One of the last times we ate there, the waitress brought me our ticket. I reviewed it and gave her my card. She charged us a totally different amount!! Since she had swiped my card for $6 more than the bill, I didn't leave her a tip. Does that make me a crappy patron? I left both tickets out and circled the difference. This is only the second time that Jay and I have not left a tip. The first was at an Olive Garden. The waiter took forever to bring our drinks. And then, the guy took Hadley's crayons away. Seriously. She was the only child we had at the time, and the waiter took away her crayons and kids menu!! Then, he kept our survey ticket with the coupon for free desert on it. He never brought it back to us after we gave him the credit card!! It was such an awful experience that we didn't leave a tip.

So, I have to ask. How many of you have eaten somewhere and didn't leave a tip?

Sunday, June 27, 2010

And Another Thing...

Why didn't anyone tell me that I looked like a clown in all that makeup????

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Just The Two of Us...

We went to a wedding reception recently. It was pretty fun. The couple got married on the Gulf Coast, so the reception was here two weeks later. It's always nice to have a night out with the hubs. As an extra special treat, I have decided to post a picture of myself....

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I know, this is a rare event!! I hardly ever put pictures of myself on the blog!! It's entirely possible that some readers have no clue what I look like!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Call DHR...STAT...

DHR. Every state has their own version. The Department of Human Resources here will straight up take your children away from you if necessary. Well, maybe someone should call them on me...

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Notice how sleepy they all look? It's cause I gave them all a dose of benedryll after we played outside for two hours. They put on their pajamas and sat on the sofa until they became borderline comatose with the need for sleep. They have been staying awake entirely too late at night. So, after playing in the grass, I thought a dose of benedryll couldn't hurt. If anything, it helped them get some much needed sleep.

Don't tell me you've never done it...

Am I the only one who occasionally drugs her children to sleep?...

Friday, June 25, 2010

One of Those Days...

Have you ever had one of those days when no one does anything specific to upset you, but you are just plain mad at the world? I had one of those days today. There were several little things that bothered me, but they were just little things that ordinarily I would have laughed off. Today though, it made my mood even blacker.

One thing that really, really bugs me is when people try to tell me how to do my job. For example, the employee of a company I prepare payroll for emailed me today. He tried to tell me that I was withholding the wrong amount from his check. Seriously. As if I haven't been doing this job for a decade. As if he has ever prepared a single payroll in his whole life. As if he understands the effect of a cafeteria plan on tax calculation. It took me a few tries, but I finally got him to understand the math. The real problem is that he filled out his w-4 incorrectly. I am withholding exactly what he requested; he just requested the wrong thing. So, then I had to walk him through filling out his w-4 correctly. Come on man. If you're single, freaking mark it single! Not married!

I Would Never...

I would never photograph one of my sleeping children and put the picture on the Internet for the whole world to see.

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I would never be so insensitive as to show off Ella's pillow hair.

Not me.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

So, So Sad...

This is LeAnna with her two children, Sydnee and Sam. LeAnna has been battling cancer for quite some time now, and earlier this week, she lost that battle.

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At 38, LeAnna was far too young to leave behind two children. Sydnee is one of Hadley's close friends, so this is a loss that Hadley is being really brave about.
 My heart is positively aching for those beautiful children. Please keep them in your prayers and thoughts.

Sleepy Time...

Sometimes when Layton falls asleep in the car, Hadley is nice enough to let him use her shoulder as a pillow. Layton sleeps in the car a fairly good bit. He likes to have a nap everyday. That is totally foreign to me because I rarely nap. I have to be extremely sick or something to be able to take a nap.
I can remember when each of the children was a baby, and older women would tell me to sleep when the baby sleeps. It's great in theory, but for me, it just wasn't going to happen. I am simply not a napper. Clearly, my little boy baby (as he likes to be called) loves to nap.
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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Why Would You Ever?...

Why would anyone every need this many strawberries?

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Hint: It won't be ready for another few months. I'll post the final product when it's complete.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Roll Tide...

Layton is such an Alabama fan.

Layton is such a cute Alabama fan.
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Sunday, June 20, 2010

But, Where Did It Go?...

The law of conservation of energy is an empirical law of physics. It states that the total amount of energy in an isolated system remains constant over time. A consequence of this law is that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only be transformed from one state to another. The only thing that can happen to energy in a closed system is that it can change form, for instance chemical energy can become kinetic energy.

So Layton is wondering. Where did the fire go?

We camped and had fun and roasted marshmallows over a big fire. The fire pit is not on fire anymore, and he was a little perplexed at first.
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He quickly got over that and announced it is time to burn something else!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

What To Eat By The Pool?...

Hello? Whitt's! Wait, some of you don't live 'round these parts' and may have never heard of Whitt's Barbecue.

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Well, let me inform you. It's some good pulled pork, and if you're ever in North Alabama/Southern Tennessee, you must try it!

Oh, I almost forgot about the Sun Drop. Do you see it there in the green can at the bottom of the picture? It's like Mello Yello except it's locally produced and must be laced with crack...that's the only reason I can come up with for the rampant addiction to Sun Drop in my area. When I was in college at Mississippi State, I would stop on my way to school and buy a case of Sun Drop to take back with me. Laced with crack I say!

Hadley and the Horse...

Hadley is really enjoying riding lessons this summer. She's learned all about taking care of the horses too.

She let Ella tag along one week and help with the grooming.

As a reward for helping with the grooming...

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Ella got to take a ride.

There is lots more to post on this topic. Hadley is horse bonkers!!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Four of the Five...

Fishing on the pier...

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The only grandchild (on Jay's side of the family) not out fishing on this day was Lacy, but she's just a baby...we let her get away with not participating.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Layton's Favorite CD...

This is Layton's favorite CD at the moment...

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...he took this picture by himself. It's a collection of heavy metal/hair band songs that have been covered by a bluegrass band. No joke. Layton loves the Sandman song by Metallica. It is rather interesting with a banjo in the background. Ha!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Layton Loves Himself...

Every time I take pictures off the memory card in the camera, I find little treasures like these:

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Layton's self portraits.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Eating Out With Ella...

When you have more than one child, it isn't often that you get to take one and only one child out to eat. It just so happened that the day I took Ella to see the plastic surgeon, sweet Robyn had agreed to babysit the other two. After Ella's appointment, we stopped at the outdoor mall to eat. She picked Cantina Laredo because you can sit outside to eat.

She looked over the menu with an impressive amount of thought.

She picked her dish and ordered all by herself.
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We sat together for a long time just munching on chips and talking. I love it when I can spend one on one time with each of my children.

Sunday, June 13, 2010


Fishing is something that does not appeal to me. I am not a patient person. I am more of an instant gratification type of gal. Sitting quietly while waiting on a fish to be tricked into taking's not for me.

Jay and the children, on the other hand, enjoy fishing. He helps them fish off the pier at the river house...

Shortly after I snapped this picture, I could hear Hadley quietly saying...I am one with the water...she was trying to increase her odds of catching something I suppose.

Layton has to have the most help. He dropped a flip flop in the water right after this picture. He won't leave his line in the water either. He keeps pulling it up to see if he caught anything even though Jay keeps telling him to leave it in the water unless the bobby thingy starts to go under water.
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Ella didn't even wait for the chairs to be set up before she started fishing!

I walked down to the pier a few times to visit with them and see the few fish that were caught, but I am just not patient enough (or quiet enough) to be any good at fishing. I'm like a chihuahua on crack...way too loud and yippy to be on a pier...