Thursday, February 16, 2012

Carpe Luna...

The days have seemed void of magic lately. I'm not entirely sure why.

 In the past there were days that literally seemed magical. I looked forward to every occasion. Christmas was the best day of the year. Valentine's Day was full of love and wonder. I eagerly awaited the first day of school and the smell of scotch tape. Is there a better smell than a new roll of tape combined with freshly sharpened pencils? It was almost as if time slowed down before every holiday or season's first. I would lie in bed at night positively unable to sleep because I was so excited about what the next day would bring.

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These days? Not so much. I feel like everyday is already mapped out before it even begins. Two of my coworkers and I were discussing this feeling a week or two ago. One is a single dad, and he said that he feels like he's living the movie Groundhog Day. I can totally understand that feeling. Wake up. Get dressed for the day. Wake up the children. Pack lunches. Brush and style hair. Serve breakfast. Drive to schools. Work. Lunch. Work. Pick up from schools. After school activities. Dinner. Clean up dinner. Work more. Prep items for the next day's dinner and lunches. Laundry. Bed. Wake up. Get dressed for the day. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

I worry that my lack of enthusiasm is taking a toll on the codependents. I wonder if they can sense how quickly time is slipping through my fingers. The days keep churning and churning, and I keep waiting for those few moments when time slows down. Ever so often there is a moment....maybe even an hour...when the whole world seems to stop, and I soak in the beauty and magic of my children. It usually happens late at night when I am forced to tuck them away for the day so as to avoid struggling to wake them the next morn. We are nocturnal at my house. We would all rather stay up until the wee hours of the morning and sleep late the next day. 6:00 AM comes mighty early for people like us. Yes, we seize the moonlight and seek for respite together. It just seems more arduous to find those moments nowadays.

P.S. We hate diurnal people.