Friday, February 10, 2012

Random Observations from This Week...

1. The apple under the seat of my car has now mummified itself and no longer stinks. I am, in fact, too busy with other things to bother cleaning it up.

2. Dance twirl tryouts are Friday (whoops, today, scheduling posts again). Hadley is nervous about it; I am positively coming unglued over it, but I am making a huge effort to not let her see how I really feel about it.

3. I can sing Cee Lo Green's Forget You in my sleep. I have been singing it in my sleep thanks to Hadley's routine being set to that tune. We've only played it 864 times this week while she practices.

4. I've been trying to reduce the size of my a$$. The Postmaster General called to let me know what zip code has been assigned to the left side of my derriere. Oy vey. Yes, the acreage has increased to the point of requiring a zip code.

5. My friend Amanda noticed that I have lost a tiny smidgen of weight. I almost French kissed her and bought her a new house for noticing.

6. I finally finished the never ending tax return. It was one of those where information was missing, and I seriously could have found Jimmy Hoffa's body with more ease than which I found the necessary parts to this return.

7. Unfortunately, the client in question has more than one return to be done, and I have now started on the Never Ending Story Tax Return part II. Just so you know, the soundtrack is way better for this sequel...mostly because I am kicking Cee Lo the curb and am spending the morning with Fugazi and Jimmy Eat World.

8. I am obsessed with Green Bean Chips. They are yummy to me. I buy them at Earthfare.

9. I am wearing my Ugg boots to work. I don't care if they are not work appropriate. It's cold. My toes are cold. Maybe no one will notice. Right? Speaking of's supposed to only be in the 30s here this weekend. That is wicked cold for Bama. Thank goodness I bought warm boots last winter on clearance....after we had "once in a generation" snow.

10. I want laser hair removal on my armpits. No, really. I think I will ask for this for my birthday this year. Seriously. After hearing a first hand story about it, I am convinced that this is for me. I am see through. I am so white that if you look close, you can actually see all the veins in my body under the surface of my skin. My hair is dark. Dark, dark. No matter how much I shave, you can still see the roots of my pit-hair through my skin. When I was still twirling, I got called out a lot by other gals who would let me know that I needed to shave; it didn't matter that I had just shaved 30 minutes prior to that. I don't wear sleeveless shirts anymore because it is just too freaking embarrassing to leave the house looking like I haven't shaved since Clinton was in office. Well that, and the fact that my arms are jiggly.

11. I would love to be able to wear this dress. I know I could never pull off something like this and look decent, but that doesn't stop me from looking at it. :)

12. I may or may not have looked at the dirty dishes in the sink this morning and decided to throw away a few of them rather than wash them. Hey, sometimes, you need to clean out the old stuff. Shhh. Don't tell J.

13. I am looking forward to the weekend in a ridiculous way. I seriously cannot wait to sleep later than 6:00AM. We don't have plans. I will be working, but I'm going to work from home. I don't want to get out in the cold. Plus, I get more done when I can juggle the house and the kids in the same location. When I work on the weekends, Ella texts me so much that I can barely get anything done. :) Thank goodness I have a laptop.

14. I need a cocktail.