Thursday, June 14, 2012

True Confessions...A-Ro Style...

-Do not be alarmed if I find a way to use "heretofore" in a conversation with you. It is my goal to work that word into as many conversations as possible thenceforward. That one too.

-I feel like I have no need to ever read a single word of the Bible again. Hear me out. I joined the Fakebook, whoops, Facebook a little more than a year and a half ago. I think. Since then I have been greeted by different scriptures as friends statuses (stati??) on a daily basis. On my beloved Twitter timeline, I am greeted with scriptures and devotions tweeted by friends daily. Ergo, I have read more of the Bible in the last eighteen months than I probably did in the eighteen years preceding this point in time.

-Blouse or Shirt or Top? I just have to ask. What makes a shirt a blouse? What makes a blouse a top? I think it might actually be different for everyone. I think the hard and fast rule that a blouse is more cinched at the waist and blouses out might be a thing of the past.  I feel certain that I am wearing a blouse today. A coworker commented that she likes my blouse. Another coworker commented that she likes my top. Fashion is an area where I definitely need some help; I have never had much flair in the fashion department. I think we've discussed the fact that I have spent the majority of my life dressing like an old maid. For the fashion challenged like myself, someone, please tell me, for the love of chiffon, is there a rule for when it's a shirt/blouse/top, etc.?

-Toward the end of the school year, a teacher at the elementary school referred to me as Layton's "grandmother." I have not yet gotten over the urge to call her "fat" in retort. It is childish; I know. Still though...the woman called me a grandmother!!!! Dear me, I am making an appointment with my dermatologist and Ella's plastic surgeon STAT...if I look old enough to be a grandmaw now, how will I look when I am actually a grandmaw?!?!??!?! Actually, this particular teacher and I do not get along; I think she said it just to be spiteful and rude. Would it really be that wrong for me to call her fat?

-For the record, if any of my grandchildren (when I have some thirty years from now. Ha!), even think about calling me Granny, Grandmaw, Memaw, Nana, whatever, my children can forget about ever calling me to babysit. I would rather be called Amanda. Seriously. No flair. No cutesy names. Just Amanda.

-The pictures disappeared from my post about the vegetable garden at school. I will have to fix that soon. Ok, I fixed it. Can you see the pictures now? Or have I only fixed it for me?

-Hadley and I went to Zumba the other night. It was the first time I had been to Zumba in ages. Truth be told, I've been seriously busy between the kids and work and a few other personal things for so long, that getting to the gym had fallen to the bottom of my priorities. It's time to kick things up a notch.

-I have 35 emails between work and personal that I have yet to respond to....from today...alone.

-I don't like almonds. I don't like dark chocolate either. J lurves almonds, so I buy them for him. Layton lurves dark chocolate, so I buy it for him. I throw up a little in my mouth every time. Almonds literally make me feel sick when I eat them. I mean that. I actually feel like I am going to barf when I eat almonds. Sometimes, I eat them anyway to avoid being rude to a host/hostess. It would probably be more rude if I hurled on their living room rug though. I've been pondering why foods tastes good to some and yucky to others. J and I both love a lot of the same foods. There are others that we drastically disagree about. Why do I like poppyseeds and J hates them? Why does he like salmon, and I loathe it? Well, I can eat it if it's in some kind of dip, but that's it. Salmon as a meal? Ain't gonna happen for A-Ro. Put a few pounds of crab legs in front of us, and J and I will devour them. Hmmmm. I think I'll do some research on taste buds this week.

-Turtleneck buddy - I see you. It's okay. We can be covered together. :)