Sunday, September 30, 2012

As Seen in Our Yard...

Sent From My Droid

To the Left...To the Right...

Which way will she go?

Friday, September 28, 2012

Little...Big...Oh My Heart...

Can you believe this picture was taken only a few months ago? He looks so little. So sweet.

 He looks so big these days and so grown up. It makes my heart ache a little. 

Hot Women...

Ladies, I love ya!

Thursday, September 27, 2012


Maybe something was going on that day....

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Things That Should Alarm Me...

Recently, my mother-in-law and I were discussing things. I like to think of them as Things That Should Alarm  Me But Don't.


-Finding a pocket knife in a sofa cushion. As in...fully open and exorcising the cushion of any demons within.

-When J walks through the den with an odd looking object and tells me we're going to blow it up this weekend.

-Home made blow torches.

-Discovering that I am not only packing heat but packing heat complete with silver bullets.

-Reaching into the freezer expecting to pull out a package of deer meat but pulling out a ziploc bag of squirrel brains instead.

-When asked what our plans for the weekend are, the hubs says we're taking up making mead.

You know. Things that would have alarmed me years and years ago but now seem ordinary.

-Seeing J and Jeffrey on the tractor. Together. Headed toward the barn. Hmmm. This should probably alarm me (good lord only knows what kind of adventure these two could start in that barn), but after all these years, I'm no longer shocked by anything either of them decides to do.

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Interestingly enough, they weren't even up to anything this day. You can never be too sure with them though.

Fellers: I am expecting a centerpiece that will melt faces this weekend. It will be cool enough for a fire in the evening.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Stop It, Mom...No More Pictures...

These are Ella's new glasses. She is in love with them. They are purple on the outside and a kind of tie-dyed mish mash on the inside. 

She is not in love with me taking her picture.

I'm So Excited...

Saved by the Bell. 

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. 

Admit it. You know exactly what that means. If you don't, ask someone who was a child or teenager in the 1990s, or turn on TBS around 6:00AM. :)

Ella is Jessie Spano on diet pills. Just look at that face.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

My Future Is So Bright...

I am doubtful that these shades will make an appearance at any time other than after leaving the eye doctor's office.

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I think Ella pulls off the look. How about you?


Why Am I Just Now Posting This?...

This picture is from months and months ago. I have no idea why I took it or why it's been resting comfortably in my draft section for so long. I'm sure there was a story to go with it. I have no clue what it is though. Ha!

Monday, September 24, 2012

Faking It...

I have always believed that to a certain extent you really can fake it til you make it. If I want to turn my day around from kind of crappy to terrific, I will just act as happy as I possibly can. Smile. Laugh. Make a joke. Without fail I will actually start to feel better. Lighter. More fun.

I do not want Ella to fake this until she makes it though. She loves to pretend to have a broken bone that needs to be wrapped up.

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Sunday, September 23, 2012

306 BBQ...

I think 306 BBQ is terrific. The owners Lee, Whitney, and Justin went above and beyond for an event that I hosted there. They set up. They took care of the food. They brought in the wine. They cleaned up. And they did it all for $340 under budget. I honestly cannot say enough nice things about the restaurant and the employees. I think I'll have all my events at 306 from now on! Ha!

Also, 306 BBQ has generously agreed to be a cosponsor of Athena League's charity golf tournament this year. Don't they look cute handing a check to Cynthia and Jenny? These two ladies have put in countless hours of hard work to make the golf tournament a success, and thanks to businesses like 306 BBQ I know it will be.


Layton has been growing. He's getting taller and stronger every day. That's not the only thing growing. His hair is growing wild too. After his last haircut (aka the day Layton cried in a salon and took his hair clippings home in his pocket), I promised him that I wouldn't take him for another haircut until he was ready for one. 

I'm beginning to think that he will never be ready for a haircut. He told me yesterday that he was going to let his hair grow all the way "to my boots." One can only assume he intends to sport some serious Crystal Gayle flowy locks. When you see me and my fro-headed child at the Publix next week, try not to laugh. I'll convince him to get a trim eventually.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Woohoo!!!...We Did It!!!...

-Pat yourself on the back friends! We survived another week! It's time to cut loose and party down! In my case I will just be sitting around doing nothing. Except laundry. Ironing. Dishes. Cleaning. The usual. BUT I can sleep late. Word!

-I am on the verge of coming unglued though. I cannot find my charger for my work laptop. I had two. One stays at work plugged into my docking station. The other one I carried around with me this week when I worked from home. I cannot figure out where I put it!!! Panic time, people. Shhh. Don't tell my boss. I have no doubt that I will step on 3 o'clock in the the dark...and then fall and break something. Have you met me? You know that is how it will go down.

-Ella is very excited today. We are picking up her new glasses. I have no doubt that I will wind up posting 45 pictures of her next week just to show off her new frames. They are not exactly what I would pick, but these were more durable for sports. Ella loves the color. Just wait.

-I am loving The Voice. I don't even watch a ton of reality or competition style TV, but I will watch Adam and Blake all week long. I would straight up leave J for Adam or Blake, and I think J would be okay with it. He would probably leave me for Adam or Blake. HA!

-Speaking of reality TV...This Teen Mom show??? I have never watched it, but I see the stars faces on the Internet on regular basis for drugs, arrests, etc. Do any of you watch it? It seems a bit negative to me, but like I said I have never seen a single episode. Insight??

-There is all this crazy text that comes with emails from the hubs when he is at work. I'm sure it serves a purpose, but I am too slow to pick up on it. Following his name are a series of letters with "/DTD." When I spell check my replies, my fancy software asks to change it to STD every single time.

-Seriously though, people!! It's the weekend!!!!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Which One Was a Lie?...

**Disclaimer: You might never read my blog again after seeing which ridiculous statement was a lie. :)

-I love cream of wheat.  True. I could eat my weight in it.

-I have eight piercings in my ears.  True. I rarely wear more than the two main piercings though.

-I once asked Dave Chappelle for directions to a CVS.  True. Totally happened by accident; I didn't even recognize him until after I had asked because honestly, who expects to run into Dave Chappelle on a random day of the week?

-I can drive a manual transmission.  True. I rarely drive J's jeep though.

-My license was suspended due to an excessive number of speeding tickets.  True. You don't want to know. Let's just say that traveling between college and home was rough on my driving record.

-I have no sinus cavities anywhere other than two underdeveloped ones under my eyes.  True. Every time I have ever had an x-ray of my head, the doctor has commented on it. 

-I broke a bone sleep walking.  True. When I had the x-ray and confirmed the chipped bone, the nurse asked if I felt safe at home. I also talk in my sleep. Like full on conversations with J of which I have no memory.

-I regret having a wedding.  True. Neither of us wanted a wedding. We just wanted to drop by the courthouse and get it done. My dad and J's Mom were the driving force behind the wedding. Small and family only.

-I wash my hair at least twice a day.  True. There is no excuse for this. I am compulsive about it. 

-I have to self medicate before boarding an airplane.  True. I have been known to have a glass of wine before a 9:00 AM flight. I just don't like to fly.

-I have never been arrested.  True. What can I say? I have a deep fear of breaking the law.

-I do not have a key to my house.  True. I keep losing them. I just use my garage door opener.

-I was featured in a book in 1995.  True. You could probably coax me into showing you a copy of the book. With a fork lift. Or threat of bodily harm. Otherwise, this will never see the light of day.

-I can touch my nose with my tongue.  True. Gene Simmons has competition.

-I have moved a total of nine times.  True. Between moving to college, moves during college, moving home, moving to homes, I have racked up nine moves. I hate moving.

-I have never lost a game of twister.  True. You do not want to take me on in a game of twister. I am freakishly flexible. 

-I have been a bridesmaid twice.  True. My cousin's wedding and my sister's wedding. 

-I make homemade crackers.  Lie. I buy. I would love to learn to make crackers though. It would come in handy to make for Layton in a gluten free flavor.

-I sleep in socks.  True. I don't like being barefoot. I prefer shoes or socks at all times.

-I have been to Graceland three times.  True. I was young when I made my first pilgrimage. I had to go back after Elvis's aunt died and additional sections of the home were opened for tour. I would go again tomorrow. I love some Elvis. Shag carpet and all.

-I have never played Monopoly.  True. I am not American, clearly.

-I love turnips.  True. I love them raw especially. I'll slice one, salt it, and chow down. They are even better to me when roasted with a little olive oil.

It's Too Early for This...

There are times when I am ready for the day to get going. Most of the time I am not. Mornings are hard. Very hard. Too hard for those of us whose internal clocks don't tick well during the daylight. I am nocturnal and always have been. Even as a little girl, I preferred to be awake at night. I'm basically polite by 9:30 or 10:00 AM. Before that...I cannot guarantee that I won't go full on Crazy Lady if you ask me a question that requires thought. You know what helps me get in gear in the mornings? Ella. She comes up out of the bed like a spring and hugs me first thing. She wraps up in my arms and rubs and pats my back.

...and then...she makes this face...

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Good morning, people of the computers. You've got this day. You've got it over a barrel.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Let's Play...And Tell a Lie...

Have you ever goofed around and played One Lie Two Truths? A few of the tweethearts and I used to play it on occasion via twitter. Today, I have decided to make a list...a list of truths and one lie. You get to guess which one is the lie.

-I love cream of wheat.

-I have eight piercings in my ears.

-I once asked Dave Chappelle for directions to a CVS.

-I can drive a manual transmission.

-My license was suspended due to an excessive number of speeding tickets.

-I have no sinus cavities anywhere other than two underdeveloped ones under my eyes.

-I broke a bone sleep walking.

-I regret having a wedding.

-I wash my hair at least twice a day.

-I have to self medicate before boarding an airplane.

-I have never been arrested.

-I do not have a key to my house.

-I was featured in a book in 1995.

-I can touch my nose with my tongue.

-I have moved a total of nine times.

-I have never lost a game of twister.

-I have been a bridesmaid twice.

-I make homemade crackers.

-I sleep in socks.

-I have been to Graceland three times.

-I have never played Monopoly.

-I love turnips.

Take a shot. Which one is the lie?

Ella and the Fake, Sad Face...

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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Garden Kids...

 I'm really hoping that the littles school will do a garden out back this coming year. Ella and Layton had so much fun going by to check on it all Summer. We even took a few things every now and then. Maybe we weren't supposed to take the peppers or tomatoes, but no one else was taking them. :) 

I very much hope that the garden returns this coming year, and so do these two little cutie pies!

Yo, How Do You?...

Dear Fellow Bloggers,

I am about as blog savvy as my coffee table. I have a question. Can you rotate pictures sent from your phone? I saved this picture to my handy, dandy blogger app, but it's sideways when I pull it up here on the internet. Why? It's normal in the app. Why? This is very frustrating. Tilt your head to the left and keep reading.

I was going to tell you an anecdote about these flowers. I was convinced that someone was stalking me when they were delivered to my office. My birthday and anniversary are both months away, and it is highly doubtful that my hubs would send me flowers for no reason. I opened the card half expecting it to say, "I'll get you" in pig's blood. Instead, I got the BEST surprise I've had in a long time. These beautiful flowers were sent to me by a client. Seriously. They were so pleased with their tax return that they sent me flowers. It made my day!!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Up Through the Trees...

Look up. How many times have I heard those words?

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Look up. Think about it. Catchya on the flipside.

Rain and Hope...

I feel kind of bad to admit this, but I am hoping that soccer gets rained out one day this week. Alright, go ahead, bring on the hatred. It's true. I just need a few days without scrambling back and forth between work, school, dance twirl, soccer, etc. The weekend just never seems quite long enough to get over the last week. Know what I mean?

Plus, my family looks ghetto at the soccer field because I am a slacker parent. I always forget about things like chairs and snacks and such. I had to message a friend last week because her family looked like an effing J. Crew ad across the field. She had a nice blanket and snacks and drinks and her kids' clothes were both smocked and clean. I was only a little bit jealous as my crew was sitting on the ant laden ground starving and dehydrating. And, there was a hole in my pants. At least I remembered a water bottle for Layton...


Before we knew that Layton couldn't eat chicken, he wanted Chick-A-Lay after preschool every day. He called it Chick-A-Lay not Chick-Fil-A. We rarely eat there anymore because Layton can't have chicken, and I'm freaked out by the peanut oil. The thing is, though, the fries are not cooked in peanut oil; they are fried in canola oil. Ella likes the grilled nuggets and fries. Occasionally, I will take the codependents to eat there. Occasionally, they hide from my camera.

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Sunday, September 16, 2012

Saturday, September 15, 2012


Ella's soccer games have not been easy for me to watch. Her age group is on the bigger field now, and it's just brutal. There have been a few times when the game has been paused due to injury. One sweet girl took a ball to the face. Ella got kicked in the head. It stresses me out!!

On the bright side, she's number 1 this season.

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Keep Your Eye on the Ball...

Layton's soccer team is adorable. Here they are. I love his coaches. They are really, really nice men and have been great with the boys. Layton takes soccer very serious.
And yes, he really is that much smaller than the rest of his team. Bless him. I ordered the smallest size that the uniform came in, and it still swallows him.

Check out his serious Imma get that ball face. 

He scored one goal during this game, and his team pulled out the win. Ahh. He's so cute on the field!

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Friday, September 14, 2012

With the Band...

I failed to post a picture of Hadley looking all grown up with the band. Enjoy. I have no doubt that I will post 966 more pictures of her twirling during football season. :)

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I am someone who often needs protection. It's true. Most of the time I need to be protected from myself. I tend to over react. J, stop looking so pleased by this admission. I do though. I am extreme. If one of the kids doesn't like my shirt, well, I might just throw it away. If J doesn't have a food-gasm from dinner, I'm never preparing that dish again. If a friend seems upset with me, golly-g, they must hate me, and I must be the world's worst person. I react in peaks and troughs. Never even keeled.

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Much like an umbrella at the beach; J is my protector. He is as even keeled as it gets. He is my center. He watches me live without abandon and pulls me close to him when the amplitude of my emotions goes awry. J protects me from myself and still loves me even though I once threw the phone out the front door and threatened to cut him if he touched my wine. I wonder if part of "the why" he loves me is because of my extra layer of passion. Maybe part of "the why" I love him is because he is the only person who has ever been content to stand still while I feverishly try to live life big. He waits there for me. I soar, and if I get close to crashing, he gently reminds me where my place is. He keeps me close when it's too dangerous for me to soar. J protects me from myself. 

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Do You Play Golf?...Four...

Four!! That is the sound of a golf tournament just around the corner! I have never played golf unless you count the goofy golf I played as a girl with my parents. For some reason I am doubtful that Canebrake has blue water falls and fake dinosaurs on hole 9. That's not the point. 

I am appealing to all of you golfers out there to come play in the Bojangles Apple Annie Charity Golf Tournament. It is for a good cause and is always a huge amount of fun. I particularly enjoy the silent auction and after party. If you don't golf, just come join me at the party! Tickets are $15 per person and include a full dinner prepared by Chef Ron and live music courtesy of the Valley Cats. Be honest. Where can you get dinner (prepared by an actual Chef) and live entertainment for $15...and know that your money is going to help children?

Here is a little bit more information about the two non-profits that will be receiving the funds. Our goal is to raise $20,000 for these deserving organizations with the money being split equally between the two. It is a hefty goal, but who wouldn't want to raise money for Hospice and the Children's Advocacy Center?

If you are interested in golfing, bidding, eating, partying, please give me a call, or send me an email. You don't have to have a full team to register. There are plenty of singles that can be matched up into four man teams that day. I will gladly send you the application and any other information you may need or want. My email address is My phone number is in the book. :)

**Disclaimer: I think I still owe my friend Blair a bourbon from last year. If we get into the brown, I might be the additional entertainment for the evening. Surely you cannot pass up the chance to see me perform a Janis Joplin song complete with booze in one hand and cigarettes in the other? And no, I will not stop calling you Shirley.

You Hungry?...


I Love Apples but Hate Apple....

This is a sight you never want to see. This is the sight of my 13 year old's phone dying. It cannot be restored. It's gone. And I totally hate Apple for its proprietary bull. She's having to use an old phone until she gets a new one. She's holding out for October to get the iphone 5 or some such thing. Just know...this was a most unpleasant afternoon when this occurred. It's been weeks now, and I am still not freaking over it.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Random Thoughts and Observations...

-I would love to have a fish fry soon. I'm going to make every effort to convince my mother-in-law to do it one weekend. I actually am lazy enough to beg Mama Kaye to fry some fish for me instead of frying some for myself. Wait, I'm not lazy; I'm so dang exhausted from chasing all 300 of my children all over the world all the time that I have to make easy meals.

-Exhaustion. This is a word that I am not dealing with very well. I think that last Friday I hit the wall. I don't know how all of you moms do it. I see you at the soccer field with all of your clean and well fed children. You seem neither stressed nor overwhelmed. I, on the other hand, had hair so frizzed out that a friend didn't recognize me...there was something on my shirt that might have come from dinner or somewhere I don't want to think about...I was sweating like a a truck driving toenail polish was chipped and a muss...Ella had jelly in her hair...Hadley cried twice at the football game...Layton said, "War Damn Eagle"...and now DHR is going to hunt me down because my child dropped the D word...and to top it off I was so jacked up on caffeine that my hands were shaking like I was going through alcohol withdrawal. Seriously, how the heck do you other moms do it? I actually look like the crazy, stressed out mess that I am; why do you women look so put together and relaxed? I hate you. But in a loving yet jealous way.

-I saw a baby whose chunky little legs literally made me stupid. Oh Liam, you and your cute little rolls and cute little personality were almost too much for me. I am still high off baby. I am definitely going to need to squeeze those legs again. Anna - Call me; your baby was so relaxing to look at and play with.

-I got to eat lunch with my friend Lori. She is one of the nicest and coolest people you could ever meet. We've known each other for about 11 years but don't get to eat much together because we live and work in different communities. Lori - We seriously need to make more of an effort to do lunch and dinner together!!

-The best quip I've heard in a long, long time came from my dear friend Shannon's mouth. If you see her out and about, please ask her if wine comes in small bottles. Thank me later for giving you the opportunity to have a laugh with her.

-We're going to grill out for dinner tonight. Mostly, it's because only one child has a practice after school today, so I might just be able to relax for about 10 minutes later. I never thought I'd be so happy to only have one activity...

-Last and certainly not least, I am super pumped about the Athens Grease Festival and the Bojangles Apple Annie Golf Tournament. I am going to be posting flyers and information for both over the next week. Please, if you live nearby and can attend either event, I promise you will love them both!!

Hi!...It's Me...

Hello, dear digital friends. You are so kind to me. You come here and you read my drivel. You comment on my A-dorable codependents. You laugh with me when I decide it's a good idea to look for a payphone. You cry with me when I decide to write nakedly. You make me feel loved and special, and that dear friends is more important to me than you know. You even tolerate the many, many pictures with no words.

Like this.

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But this post isn't about any of that. This post is about what I can do for you. You all do so much for me.  Tell me what I can do for you. Do you have questions? Do you have a blog and want to write a guest post for me? Do you want to challenge me to a contest? Is there a bizarre topic you'd like to read about? Do you want to meet in real life? You ask. You command. I'll enable.

P.S. I'll probably take pictures of it and smear it on the internet too. Whatever it may be. Full disclosure.