Thursday, October 04, 2012

Call Me Vonnegut...Not da Vinci...Random Style...

**Disclaimer: It's entirely possible that I didn't think this post through before hitting publish. I'm not sure why I wanted to do a Kurt Vonnegut inspired post of Random Thoughts and Observations. Consider yourself warned.

-Mama Kaye has a broken hip. In my mind's eye, a broken hip looks like this:

Or this:

I have no doubt that neither one of these is what a broken hip looks like, but it helps me to sort of simply visualize what is going on and where the screws and rod must be. I break everything down into black and white cartoons. Including tax returns. 

-Tax returns look more like this:

-I used to watch the Today show religiously every morning. I haven't tuned in as much since my beloved Ann Curry got the ax. I would let Ann Curry read the dictionary to me. Savannah Guthrie? Not so much. She has upside down mouth. She makes me sad because she looks like she's frowning in between every smile and question. I'm sure she's a lovely person; she's just not Ann Curry. Upside down mouth looks like this:

That wasn't very nice. Let's just go ahead and point out that Ann Curry has right side up mouth. 

See the difference?

-Butter should be a food group. 

-When I draw a stick of butter on a plate, it looks remarkably like a steam boat. That was supposed to be a slice of butter being cut away from the stick...instead it can be my smokestack.

-Peanuts are good too. 

I could eat peanuts all day long. That would be a bad idea. It would be tasty though. 

-I really, really wish I were a gifted writer. 

I always wanted to write when I was little, but unfortunately for me, writing just isn't my gift. Most of what I do write belongs here:

-I see cars with stick families on the back windshield. I have drafted one of my family. 

Can you tell which one is me?

-I'd like to close today's blog post with my own rendition of my favorite illustration in Breakfast of Champions. 

Assuming you have read the book, you know that's the to speak. Stop by next week. I'll be doing my best Richard Pryor on Monday. That's a lie. Or maybe it isn't...