Thursday, December 13, 2012

Stones, Adultery, and Whatnot...

-Yes, I did use the word theses in a post. I made it up. Get over it, or don't.

-Layton's new word is whatnot. He said it no less than 850 times before bed last night. "I'm going to brush my pretty teeth and whatnot." "Have you had a shower and whatnot?" "Pack my lunch and whatnot tomorrow." "Do payroll and whatnot." "Little, green army men are fun to play with and whatnot." "I'm going to eat some cereal and whatnot." I will continue to blog about the things he says and whatnot.

-I left home the other day without any pertinent items. I'm always going over a checklist with J and the kids to make sure they get out of the house with everything they need. I left home without my purse. No ID. No money. No lipstick. Nothing. I feel naked. Dear God, did I leave without clothes too?

-I do not recommend putting "pass a kidney stone" on your bucket list. This is actually something I would recommend you avoid if at all possible. I would go into more detail, but I have not yet regained my sense of humor. Ask me about it in a year.

-The flu. It appears to be everywhere right now. I'm going full-on SARS mode and wearing a surgical mask for the rest of the month. That's a lie. But seriously, I know way too many people who either have the flu or whose kids have the flu right now. Did you get a flu shot?

-Layton tried to convince me that J left me for a hot chick at Staples. Layton's story wasn't all that believable though because he claimed that J walked up to the Staples chick and said, "Hey Baby, what's going on?" Yep. We had a lovely talk about stories that should never be repeated after that...especially at school. Please, if my son told you that J left me to go to Hawaii with a hot Staples chick, it was fabricated. At least, I'm hoping this was a fabrication. Come to think of it I haven't seen J in a while...Just kidding.

-FYI: It took just over the lethal limit of caffeine for me to write this. That's right. This is a blog post from the great beyond. Not really. I just haven't slept much lately and feel like a zombie.