Monday, January 14, 2013

I Lied Again...

***Originally published last year...

Which One Was a Lie?...

**Disclaimer: You might never read my blog again after seeing which ridiculous statement was a lie. :)

-I love cream of wheat.  True. I could eat my weight in it.

-I have eight piercings in my ears.  True. I rarely wear more than the two main piercings though.

-I once asked Dave Chappelle for directions to a CVS.  True. Totally happened by accident; I didn't even recognize him until after I had asked because honestly, who expects to run into Dave Chappelle on a random day of the week?

-I can drive a manual transmission.  True. I rarely drive J's jeep though.

-My license was suspended due to an excessive number of speeding tickets.  True. You don't want to know. Let's just say that traveling between college and home was rough on my driving record.

-I have no sinus cavities anywhere other than two underdeveloped ones under my eyes.  True. Every time I have ever had an x-ray of my head, the doctor has commented on it. 

-I broke a bone sleep walking.  True. When I had the x-ray and confirmed the chipped bone, the nurse asked if I felt safe at home. I also talk in my sleep. Like full on conversations with J of which I have no memory.

-I regret having a wedding.  True. Neither of us wanted a wedding. We just wanted to drop by the courthouse and get it done. My dad and J's Mom were the driving force behind the wedding. Small and family only.

-I wash my hair at least twice a day.  True. There is no excuse for this. I am compulsive about it. 

-I have to self medicate before boarding an airplane.  True. I have been known to have a glass of wine before a 9:00 AM flight. I just don't like to fly.

-I have never been arrested.  True. What can I say? I have a deep fear of breaking the law.

-I do not have a key to my house.  True. I keep losing them. I just use my garage door opener.

-I was featured in a book in 1995.  True. You could probably coax me into showing you a copy of the book. With a fork lift. Or threat of bodily harm. Otherwise, this will never see the light of day.

-I can touch my nose with my tongue.  True. Gene Simmons has competition.

-I have moved a total of nine times.  True. Between moving to college, moves during college, moving home, moving to homes, I have racked up nine moves. I hate moving.

-I have never lost a game of twister.  True. You do not want to take me on in a game of twister. I am freakishly flexible. 

-I have been a bridesmaid twice.  True. My cousin's wedding and my sister's wedding. 

-I make homemade crackers.  Lie. I buy. I would love to learn to make crackers though. It would come in handy to make for Layton in a gluten free flavor.

-I sleep in socks.  True. I don't like being barefoot. I prefer shoes or socks at all times.

-I have been to Graceland three times.  True. I was young when I made my first pilgrimage. I had to go back after Elvis's aunt died and additional sections of the home were opened for tour. I would go again tomorrow. I love some Elvis. Shag carpet and all.

-I have never played Monopoly.  True. I am not American, clearly.

-I love turnips.  True. I love them raw especially. I'll slice one, salt it, and chow down. They are even better to me when roasted with a little olive oil.