Monday, March 18, 2013

Swim Team...Popping Tags...

-Earlier this week I bought socks for my children because they didn't have any clean ones. That's right. I was so busy between work and trying to get everyone everywhere they needed to be that I had not even washed enough laundry for the week. That is pure klass. Feel free to learn from this confession. Don't bother washing your sock; buy new ones.

-By the way, I didn't even buy nice socks. I bought the dollar store special. Seriously, you probably didn't think I could stoop to this low of a level. This isn't even scratching the surface of the "low-ness" I  can reach. What? You want an example?

-I have dreamed about two of my coworkers this week. The first dream involved the precious gal whose office is next to mine. Seriously people, she is so quiet and kind that I hardly know she's there. In contrast, I dreamed that she broke her toe and turned into a total diva. She came to work in a hospital bed and demanded that we all roll her up and down the hall every time she needed something. I woke myself up laughing hysterically because it was just that ridiculous. Truth is, she probably wouldn't even mention a broken toe in real life. In my dream she was the J-Lo of broken toes.

The second dream is so strange. That isn't even the right way to phrase it. Let me just break it down....J and I invited a coworker (but not his wife) to come over for dinner. When he got there, he peed on my carpet to assert his dominance and held us captive. For weeks. Complete with a trip to a skeezy motel in Huntsville. I kept telling J that someone at work would notice that we were gone; it is tax season after all. It seems that in dream land no one at the office thought the disappearing act was odd. I think I'm working too much because that was a seriously messed up dream. This particular coworker is soooo nice, and my cryptic subconscious turned him into a sick-o! I couldn't even make eye contact with him after that dream.

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-The newest obsession at our house is the thrift store. Mainly because Layton wanted the song, and I got it for him not realizing there was a radio version and a real version. Hadley was mighty disappointed in me and pointed out that "every cuss word ever is used in the first 10 seconds." Not my best parenting moment. The littles were dying to go to a thrift store, so I put $20 in my pocket and took them. We popped a tag.

-People seem so surprised that I don't respond immediately to text messages or emails these days. Um, hello? It's tax season. The policy at work is for us to put in a minimum of 55 hours a week. A minimum of 55 hours. Do the mental math. I have three children that have to be fed, clothed, taken to and from school every day, homework, etc. When you add in sleeping, showering, bathroom visits and eating, I am operating in the red when it comes to time. Internet friends, I love you, but I probably will not reply in a timely fashion. Sorry.

-An acquaintance from years ago met Ella the other night. This lady told Ella how cute she is...Ella replied, "I know, right?" My eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. My face flushed. I wanted to climb under a table. At least Ella has enormous confidence, right?