Monday, April 22, 2013

I Would Do Anything...but I Won't Do That....

I'm a fairly willing participant in most activities. I'll try just about anything once. If I realize immediately that it is not for me, I rarely ever do it again. I have an adventurous spirit though and am willing to give anything a go once.

I would like to sky dive. I'd probably wet my pants though. I'd be more afraid of getting on the plane than the jump. I don't enjoy air plane rides...ever since I was seated next to a woman who had a bag she refused to check; was from Lebanon; spoke five languages; and totes creeped me out. It was an unfortunate trip for me. It was the worst turbulence I had ever experienced because I was on a puddle jumper in a horrible storm. Being young and impressionable, I was convinced she was going to highjack the plane. This happened 20 years ago, and I'm pretty sure I would recognize her if I saw her again. I'd like to sky dive though.

Do you ever associate music with life events? I do. I think of it as the soundtrack of my life. I have songs that remind me of the past and songs picked for events yet to come. My personal favorite is a bad, Spanish pop tune I found several years ago. I can't understand a word of it, but should I ever decide to take a Latin Lover, that song better be playing in the background. For those of you who have seen me in Publix, this explains why I'm normally singing the Humpty Dance and shaking my way down isle 11. Or why I belt out Meatloaf when J asks me to prepare salmon patties. I would do anything for love, but I won't do that. Smelly kitchen. I can't handle the smell that lingers in the kitchen after the frying. Don't tell me you don't soundtrack your life too; it will just make me feel even more odd than I already do. Also, I kind of wanted an excuse to use the phrase "take a Latin lover."

I also have a hankering to use the word rudimentary today. I have rudimentary knowledge of how to take a Latin lover. P.S. Tom Waits is currently at the top of the soundtrack for time I spend blogging.

My creative juices are at an all time low. It's not that I am even creative; it's just that the tiny section of my brain that devotes itself to anything remotely creative is in shut down mode. Kind of like how my laptop goes into sleep mode when I don't use it. Sleep mode. Right here. My current state of exhaustion is the culmination of putting a second helping of life on my plate every chance I get. I'm not complaining. I think it's a great thing that I have had the opportunity to be involved in so many things. I also think that I need to remind myself of my limitations the next time I get the urge to put a huge scoop of life on my plate.

Layton was being particularly impish one day. He was giving me a hard time. Little cherub looked up at J and said, "I'm just trying to follow in your footsteps, old man." First of all the fact that Layton called J old man was hilarious. Second of all J had no come back.

Have you seen the movie We Bought a Zoo? I watched it with the kids not too long ago. There is a part in the movie when Matt Damon's character states that they live with a little girl who "still believes in the Easter Bunny." The little girl comes out and asks, "What about the Easter Bunny?" Ella looked over at me and asked, "Yeah, what about the Easter Bunny?" I had no come back, so I told her it was a grown up joke. Dang it, people. There should have been a disclaimer that alerted me to the fact that this movie could force me to cop to one of the biggest parenting lies I've been telling for years. Seriously people, years of deception were jeopardized by Matt freaking Damon and his family friendly film. Don't these Hollywood types know how hard parents work to keep the lie going? This is the moment (the moment if my life were made into a movie) where I would realize that lying to one's offspring is probably wrong. No, this was not some cathartic moment where I confessed my sin to Ella and Layton. I lied some more. I am NEVER watching another family friendly movie again. It's too dangerous to the carefully crafted web of deception I have spun for the codependents. Sarcasm much, A-Ro?

By the way Facebook is a scary place. Scary I say. If I were in charge of hiring new employees, I would totally stalk their Facebook page before making any offers, yo.

Let's rock and roll. This week will be over soon enough.