Monday, January 13, 2014

Parents Just Don't Understand...

In today's edition of How Can I Embarrass Myself on the Internet? I will make it even more difficult for me to show my face in public.

1. I love the post office. Any post office. Especially rural post offices that are next to barns. There is something about mail that just makes me giddy. I have spent much of my life desperate to be loved and liked, and it is my belief that junk mail was the only thing that made me feel wanted until about 1997. Heck, I only had a date to high school dances a few times, but Publisher's Clearing House loved me enough to send two letters a week. Suck on that, homecoming queens.

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2. I got a major hair cut. Major as in my hair was half way down my back, and now the hair on the back of my head is shorter than J's beard. As in you will do a double take the first time you see me with the new do. Layton hates it. He told me that I don't look like his Mommerz anymore. It took two full days for him to even warm up enough to hug me.

3. I have started on my "If I Survive Tax Season" list. I make one every year. It has things like.....If I survive tax season, I'm going to get the carpet cleaned....If I survive tax season, I'm going to take a long weekend away with J....If I survive tax season, I'm going to paint the children's bedrooms...If I survive tax season, I'm going to rip up the hideous landscaping in front of my house and redo it all...If I survive tax season, I am going to take a whole day off just to sleep...If I survive tax season, I'm going to shave my legs. It's not hard to be classier than I.

4. Speaking of tax season, it has already kicked off for me. I am busy. Do not be offended if I don't return your phone call or email immediately. Do not be alarmed if I don't return your phone call, email, or text, for three days. It is what it is. My required hours at work have doubled this week and will only continue to increase. I love you all, really I do. I just can't talk to you until April. :)

5. Something amazing is happening for me this year. I have successfully pawned all three of my children onto other drivers in the afternoon. That's right. I no longer have to suffer through an hour and a half of car lines after school. Three car lines really is enough to make crack seem like a good idea. The two littles are riding the bus together, and Hadley is riding home with a good friend who got her driver's license several months ago. I will continue working while Hadley babysits. Or, I will be at Casa Blanca drinking celebratory margaritas because I am sans car line.

6. Something I am asked regularly is, "How do you do it?" I would like to believe that these inquisitive minds want to know how I manage to be so witty and humble and such a good mother. They are actually asking how I manage work, family, social functions, volunteering, etc. I guess I seem more involved and busy than I feel. The truth is that I don't do it well. I sacrifice sleep and on occasion clean socks. I have dragged my children to fundraisers and parties that were not intended to be kid friendly. If you put one of those fake mustaches on Layton, he can almost pass for the monopoly man. Not that I have tried that at an adult party or anything. Or maybe I have. I do have a system, a process, that I use to schedule out my days and nights. As a working mother, I feel it is important that we all share our ideas and methods of finding balance with each other. So, over the course of the next few weeks, you can look forward (hahahahahahah, I know, that made me laugh too. Like anyone looks forward to me blathering on this blog) to a series of post dedicated to various ideas I have about balancing all aspects of my life. And, some follow up posts exploring how often I fail at balancing my life.

7. It's okay to laugh at me instead of with me. I am fully aware of how ridiculous a human being I am.