Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Twilight Zone...I Went There...

A while back I attended a continuing education class in Huntsville. It was a lovely class regarding payroll rules and regulations. Contain your jealously, people. I know you all want to know everything there is to know about statutory employees, but you don't have to beg for it here. 

Anyway, at the mid-morning break, I had to pay a visit to the ladies' room. Imagine the look on my face when I walked inside and was greeted by an entire basket of complimentary feminine hygiene products. I mean, seriously, this was a hotel restroom outside of a CPE class not an encore of The Vagina Monologues.

I felt like I had walked into an Always commercial instead of the ladies' room. Have a happy period, always. Maybe I should send the jack-hole who thought of that slogan this picture along with a pitch for their next commercial. The dowdy accountant steps into the ladies' room only to be magically transformed into a smiling, thin woman wearing fabulous heels while twirling around with excitement over her free goodies. This is not something women are happy about unless the woman happens to have had a drunken one night stand a few weeks back. These Happy commercials fall into the same bucket as Valtrex commercials for me. Those people are running through fields of daisies and look really freaking excited about having herpes. 

On what planet do these commercials increase sales? Don't tell me you have never thrown something (in a fit of PMS) at the TV when you're told to have a happy period. Is a happy period even possible? Happy periods are more like unicorns - they DON'T exist. Am I supposed to feel empowered every time the commercial airs? Guess what, that right there is some business I want to take care of on my own without Regina King's advice. Maybe the person who came up with the Happy Period slogan was tripping on acid at the time....or was suicidal and working from home where his PMS-ing wife walked by and saw the storyboard on his desk. 

Maybe I have thought about this too much.