Sunday, May 18, 2014

What Kind of Person?...

-I haven't blogged in a while. The truth is that I have grown tired of being mocked for having a blog. Having to hear so many people tell me how pathetic it is to have a blog has made me weary. For every one person who says they love to read my blog, six more tell me it is ridiculous. What's the point? That's what I keep asking myself when I think about how long it has been since I published a post. 

How many pictures of Layton behaving horribly can I really post?

How many silly anecdotes and embarrassing facts about myself can I really post?

-It's getting close to that time of year. The moment when it gets warm enough that all the skinny, beautiful people start taking their clothes off and getting tan. The time of year when I sweat profusely all the time because I have to dress for Winter year round due to my flab, jiggles, and excessively large backside. Some things cannot be fixed with diet and exercise; I am not about to carve out time for plastic surgery. Sweating is the way to go. All you sexy people should know - I am sure you are lovely individuals, but I still hate you for being able to go sleeveless and in shorts. Much love, The Fatty in the Turtleneck

-Ella Channing and Layton have begun an excavation at the farm and suckered their cousins into it as well. I have no idea what they think they will find, but they are determined to dig until something good pops up.

So far, they have just found rocks and petrified dung. You have no idea how badly I wish that last little bit weren't true. One thought it was funny...the other was in grossed out mode...

What's the point in blogging about the horrible things I do to my children?

-MMMBop came on '90s on 9. I cranked the volume up a good bit. I am not sure what bothered Hadley more - the fact that I turned the volume up or the fact that I knew all the words. Puh-lease, I didn't figure out how to communicate with other people until I was almost 30. Learning the MMMBop lyrics was all I had to do on Friday nights in the '90s. Did you see the pleated pants I had on in that one post? Yeah, no one wanted to be my friend.

I have grown tired. I might never publish another post ever.