Wednesday, August 06, 2014

A Serious Chat amongst Digital Friends....

-Why is it that whenever Zulily has Spanx or Miraclebody for sale, all of the models are in serious need of a bowl of gravy? Am I supposed to believe that these size 0 looking women are actually size 12 women who look fabulous in swimwear because of spanx? For example, here is a picture from today. 

Spanx did all of that - not the rigorous diet and exercise this woman follows in order to keep a job in the modeling industry. Did I just commit copyright infringement? I need a lawyer. On speed dial. Snark-asm ensuing. 

-Open letters. Enough already. Writing an open letter was a clever idea - the first 7,894 times I saw one on facebook or a blog.

-Hadley's phone is named the Titanic. When she syncs with itunes, the screen says...Syncing the Titanic.  Too soon? I have a point. I feel like the Titanic right now. I am sinking. I cannot get anything finished. My calendar is a mess. I haven't bought any school supplies. My brows need waxing. There are appointments all over my calendar that I need to move and groove and handle. I have no less than 30 emails to which I need to reply. I am sinking. If you happen to see me out and about, just give me a smile and tell me it will all be okay.

-How overwhelmed am I? I forgot to send out invitations for Ella's birthday. I kept thinking I had more time. One day I realized that her birthday was a week away. I created a facebook event and texted people. I was mortified. I am the mom who forgot to invite people to an event for which the venue had been booked eight months. If I failed to invite your child, so sorry. I failed to even do invitations. My bad. Also, I had no control over those kids while we were there. I was treading water by that point in the day. Treading water - unsuccessfully might I add. {Enter the oddly lit photograph so that no one's likeness is flagrantly posted without their permission.}

-And now, I have to continue my streak of bad parenting by taking the oldest to the Miley Cyrus concert tomorrow night. I am on a roll.